Bingo night

Lookin sick and sexified

Costco

We are out of macadamia nut clusters in the office! It only lasted for 3.5 days. An emergency trip to Costco is required.

Pirates

Local News | As 3,500 meteorologists meet, one man's mission: Predict pirate attacks | Seattle Times Newspaper

One man's mission: Predict Pirate Attacks. YES. That's my mission too!

Some of my favorite quotes from this article:

"The Indian Ocean is really big."
"The project combines data...on pirate habits."
"U.S. Intelligence about pirates is classified."

Oddly, this Seattle Times article forgets to mention that pirates predictably land in Seattle every year on the first Saturday of July, as shown in this photo from local news source, SeattlePi.

Productivity

This was not my fault.

My latest running mix.

I dare say that this is better than my half marathon training mix. Mainly because it doesn't involve training for a half marathon.

1. Till I collapse - Eminem & Nate Dogg
2. I like it - Enrique Iglesias
3. Bulletproof (Tiborg Remix) - La Roux
4. Me against the music - Britney & Madonna
5. Eye of the Tiger
6. Club can't handle me - Flo RIDA
7. Like a G6 - Far East Movement
8. Hold it against me - Britney Spears
9. Sweet Disposition (Axwell Remix) - The Temper Trap

Things I'm excited about:

1. The Kentucky Derby. May 7th. I'll be there, wearing an amazing giant hat like this one.




2. My birthday, which is going to be spent in Nashville. And then three days later, I'll be at the Kentucky Derby.




3. The return of Cadbury mini-eggs. If we skipped valentine's day candy and went straight to easter, that would be fine by me.

Lame

First, I'm in Seattle. Second, above the American flag? Say what?

Blame Canada for Nickelback

Many thanks to Matt Harvey for his excellent contributions to the blog...




However, I will say that the Backstreet Boys have a special place in my heart. I love you Brian Littrell.

Healthy Living

Today at work, the monthly wellness newsletter came out. It is chock full of valuable tips for improving your life. Here are some of the best:

1. Take the idea of a home gym to a whole new level. Specifically, they suggest doing "speed squats" while brushing your teeth. Make sure to maintain control of the toothbrush! I'm going to test this one out at home tonight. I might choke on my toothbrush. Thank God I don't use a Sonicare.

2. Skip the Bacon. WTF? Wrong.

3. Find your song. Pick a song that makes you feel good about yourself boosts yourself esteeem. Play it whenever you need a lift. For me, it is a toss up between "Eye of the Tiger," "I'm on a Boat," and the theme song from Jurassic Park

What would your theme song be?

Side note: my boss said that his theme song would be Chariots of Fire. So, I downloaded it an blasted it from the ipod player the next time he walked out of his office. Then, I was laughing so hard that I spilled an entire cup of water all over my notepad, mouse, and headphones...FTL.

Crazy cat lady

PUTTING THE CASUAL IN BUSINESS CASUAL

During a discussion about work attire, one of my hired friends asked me my opinion on camouflage. In the workplace. Specifically, he is thinking about getting the shirt pictured below, which is on sale at Cabela’s for $14.99.


Classy. Especially if you can match the print to your Ford F-150 Supercab. I told him to buy it, mainly for my own entertainment purposes, but I believe camouflage at work is a little too casual for business casual. Just like UGGs. Ladies – you’re not fooling anyone with those UGGs under your Banana Republic slacks. Or your black Hunters with a pencil skirt. “Uhh….but it rains and it is cold.” That is no reason to walk around looking like a crazy cat lady housewife at work.*

All joking aside, spending the money on wrinkle free clothing is key to looking fly without putting any effort into it. Thanks to Oprah, I own several Brooks Brothers wrinkle free shirts. It is impossible to wrinkle them, and I’ve found good deals at the outlets. For the gentlemen, my business attire consultant recommends the Toddland “Perfect” pants, available at Urban Outfitters.

*Disclaimer: I am well aware that I will probably be a crazy cat lady housewife.

Aberdeezy

If I was going to write a scary screenplay based on a true story, it would set it in Aberdeen, WA. It would be about a young woman who travels from the big city to Aberdeen for her white collar job. The movie would play "Come as You Are" by Nirvana* on repeat. She would stay at the only marginally acceptable hotel in town, the Ghosthouse. The hotel is termed as such because it is rumored to be haunted by victims of serial killer Billy Gohl.

In the evenings after work she would either eat at Subway or the restaurant named after the infamous killer. Out of boredom, she would go to see a movie at the South Shore Mall. She would drive past the empty parking lots and boarded up fronts of Sears and JC Penny to the theatre. The movie theatre would be the only business operating out of the mall, with the exception of Dairy Queen. She would be the only person in the 50-seat theatre until halfway through the previews, when three other people arrive.

Now, the movie would be BASED on a true story, but the story actually isn’t true. So at the end, the movie theatre people would kill the heroine, and then she would haunt the hotel by singing Nirvana up and down the hallways and inexplicably turning the TVs on and off.

*Kurt Cobain was from Aberdeen.

Censorship

In other news, the Flaming Patriot is very much against censorship. I'm sorry, last time I checked it was 2011. Huck Finn is still banned in schools? What? And now we're changing words in the book so that it won't be banned? If you don't like reading, Stephen Colbert's analyzes the issue too.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2013844418_twainchange05.html

In somewhat related news, the Atlas Shrugged movie will be released, fittingly, on April 15th! So excited!

Seahawks

I've also been rather distracted by the superb performance of my future husband's football team. In case you missed it, the Seahawks KILLED IT on Saturday. In this video, my future husband hands the ball to Marshawn Lynch, who breaks approximately 100 tackles to score a touchdown. It was more amazing than a double rainbow.

Mars

Certain fans of the Flaming Patriot have recently complained that I haven't been posting often enough lately. My apologies. I've actually been busy doing a lot of thinking. Specifically, I've been thinking a lot about colonizing Mars. Unpatriotic, you say? America is the greatest place in the world, why would you ever go live anywhere else?!


Well, for one thing, we're talking about the UNIVERSE. Not the world. I bet naysayers said the same thing to the pilgrims. And remember how everyone told Columbus that he was going to fall off the edge of the world? Wrong. Mars might be awesome. You've never been there, so you don't know.


Of course, you would probably die on Mars. But, what if the human race had the opportunity to colonize mars during our lifetimes? Just assume that it was somehow feasible for humans to survive there, but we needed people to go there and figure out how to do it. Also assume that travel between earth and mars wasn't possible, but you can have all normal communication with earth (skype, iphone, youtube, the lifetime network, tmz, etc.). Would you do it?

Fun to think about, huh? If mars is too far for you, what about the moon? Most people I have bounced this idea off off claim that the moon is more awesome than mars. Others have said that you would be better off to colonize Siberia. Siberia sounds lame. Count me in for Mars.

Regulators, mount up.

Approximately 1/3 of our office is in the process of tinting our cars. Here they are! Thanks to Gregg at AccutintNW in Shoreline for making our rides look fly.

Kelli (30%)

Rylee (honorary regulator) (30%)

Me (35%)


Sarah (35%)

James (30%)

Matt (30%)