What happens at my house:

An average morning at The Commune

In case you hadn't heard, there's a solar storm going on right now. The sun is throwing stuff the earth. This is only supposed to mess up some communication systems, make it difficult for airplanes to fly near the poles, and make the Northern Lights look siiiiicccckkkk.

In my experience, the solar storm, combined with yesterday's full moon, is causing abnormalities and wackiness in my life. Case(s) in point:

Yesterday, at work at a bank, I was minding my own business in a kitchen, peeling an orange for an afternoon snack. Out of nowhere, a random bank employee asked me "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" For a moment, I thought that I was at the Ballroom (douchey bar in Seattle). Of course, I wasn't, and explained that I was there to Regulate.

This morning, I woke up and was chatting with my roommate. I was looking out the window, and noticed some strange looking guys unloading stuff from a prius in front of our house. I wondered aloud what they were doing. At the same time, my roommate told me that we were going to be having an energy audit this morning at 8. The prius guys headed towards the house with their baggage....

We opened the door and let the energy auditors in. They started asking us a bunch of questions like "why did you order an energy audit?" and "what is the house heated by?" Of course we were giggling uncontrollably and making sarcastic comments. I'm sure that the energy auditors were expecting a nice Queen Anne family. Instead, they got a big dose of crazy. We explained that our sleeping landlord had ordered the audit, and went to wake him up.

The energy auditors started unloading all their equipment, which looked like it could have doubled as ghost-hunting equipment. They looked more like ghostbusters than auditors anyway. The energy auditors used an x-ray device to scan the walls and see if there was any insulation in them (there was not). The auditors also informed us that there used to be a window in one of the walls. Luckily, they didn't find any ghosts, cocaine, or dead bodies.

Next, the energy auditors blocked off the door to test how efficient the house was. This fan sucks air out of the house. It has a regulator on it that tells them how much air is escaping, relative to other houses without drafty leaks all over the place. It looked like we were either being fumigated or harboring E.T.

All of this happened before 9am. Now, it is the afternoon. My roommate and I are drinking tea imported from Tacoma and listening to Slim Shady. Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records....

Welcome to Earth. It's solar stormin' up in here.

Firefighting

One of my (male) friends on why he wants to be a firefighter: "It is just an awesome job. You get to do physical activity during work, or play video games if it is slow. You get 72 hours minimum off at a time. You're portrayed as a hero in America, and you can be in calendars if you want to be. Oh, and you get to bring your dog around with you. What am I missing?"