Me: According to wikipedia, it is a myth that shouting can start an avalanche.
Jolene: yeah, I think you can shout. You just can't yodel.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Avalanches
Today, we saw a mini-avalanche on Hwy 20. Scary!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
During a discussion about birthdays...
Mom: do you even know what time you were born?
My sister: no, I was like zero years old. Besides, I wasn't born. I was extracted.
My sister: no, I was like zero years old. Besides, I wasn't born. I was extracted.
Friday, May 20, 2011
I know I'm in Portland
...when the sales clerk says "well, at least we know that if we destroy our planet, we can build a new one out of plastic. An indestructible one."
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I speak dolphin
"Scientists hope a new computer translation system will allow divers to make sense of dolphin sounds — and even talk back"
Uh oh. If you've read any of my earlier posts on dolphins, you can bet that I'm none too happy about the potential for a human-dolphin language. "Yeah, I double-majored in Global Studies and Dolphin." How useful. Do we really want dolphins to be able to tell us what they think? Besides, it's not like they can talk on our turf (land). What if you got into an argument with them about who should win American Idol ? You're totally at their mercy out in the open seas! Who knows what they're capable of. They seem so cute and playful now...probably because they don't know that sometimes they end up in cans of tuna fish. Wait until they find out about that!
Why do we care what dolphins think anyway? I'm more concerned with what my cat thinks...
"Why are you staring at me without blinking?" "Why did you scratch the hell out of my arm?"
"What are you chasing?! There's nothing there." There is no good reason for cats to be doing any of those things. The mystery could be solved if only they could talk.
On the other hand, imagine if you asked dolphins questions:
Q: "Hey dolphin, why are you leaping and frolicking around in the waves with your friends?"
A: "Uh, because it's fun, dumbass."
Q: "Why do you chase boats?"
A: "Why do you tow yourselves on ropes behind boats?"
The whole thing sounds exhausting. Vote no for dolphin language.
Uh oh. If you've read any of my earlier posts on dolphins, you can bet that I'm none too happy about the potential for a human-dolphin language. "Yeah, I double-majored in Global Studies and Dolphin." How useful. Do we really want dolphins to be able to tell us what they think? Besides, it's not like they can talk on our turf (land). What if you got into an argument with them about who should win American Idol ? You're totally at their mercy out in the open seas! Who knows what they're capable of. They seem so cute and playful now...probably because they don't know that sometimes they end up in cans of tuna fish. Wait until they find out about that!
Why do we care what dolphins think anyway? I'm more concerned with what my cat thinks...
"Why are you staring at me without blinking?" "Why did you scratch the hell out of my arm?"
"What are you chasing?! There's nothing there." There is no good reason for cats to be doing any of those things. The mystery could be solved if only they could talk.
On the other hand, imagine if you asked dolphins questions:
Q: "Hey dolphin, why are you leaping and frolicking around in the waves with your friends?"
A: "Uh, because it's fun, dumbass."
Q: "Why do you chase boats?"
A: "Why do you tow yourselves on ropes behind boats?"
The whole thing sounds exhausting. Vote no for dolphin language.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
The age of change
…is off to a rough start. Rather than having a panic attack about turning 27 last week, I decided to embrace the opportunity to make some positive changes in my life. I’m going to become a better person in my 27th year. Volunteer. Get in shape. Talk to people in elevators. Eat a healthy diet.
I thought that a good way to kick off the age of change would be with a detox. After a week of eating nothing but fried catfish and bourbon, this seemed like a good idea. On Tuesday, I started an 11-day detox diet. Basically, I couldn’t eat carbs or dairy. No caffeine, no alcohol. My diet was restricted to meat and vegetables.
Fail. I made it 36 hours before I nearly died. During a rainy drive home from Olympia to Seattle last night, I began to realize that it was not safe for me to be on the road. I could barely keep my eyes open, and I felt like I was hungover. I ate the rest of my snacks (blueberries and carrots) in attempt to get some energy – to no avail. I chugged the rest of my water. I began to question whether or not I was giving myself an eating disorder. Was my brain turning into mush from lack of nourishment?
Around Tacoma, I realized that I was not going to make the last 45 minutes of the drive without a) killing myself or b) killing someone else. I needed carbs or a nap ASAP. I pulled over in Fife and promptly ordered medium fries and a diet coke from McDonalds. I felt better, but still felt queasy/tired. I took a 20 minute nap in the McDonalds parking lot. (Is this rock bottom?)
I eventually made it home where I shakily ate a bowl of cereal and headed to bed around 7:30pm. Who was I kidding? I’ve never gone more than two days without candy in my entire life, and I thought I could survive on meat and vegetables for 11 days?
Today, I woke up to a sunny seattle day. I promptly purchased a breakfast sandwich and double tall Americano. Life is back to normal. I might try the detox again someday…baby steps for now. I’m going to try for 11 days without candy and see what happens. Cheers to day 3!
I thought that a good way to kick off the age of change would be with a detox. After a week of eating nothing but fried catfish and bourbon, this seemed like a good idea. On Tuesday, I started an 11-day detox diet. Basically, I couldn’t eat carbs or dairy. No caffeine, no alcohol. My diet was restricted to meat and vegetables.
Fail. I made it 36 hours before I nearly died. During a rainy drive home from Olympia to Seattle last night, I began to realize that it was not safe for me to be on the road. I could barely keep my eyes open, and I felt like I was hungover. I ate the rest of my snacks (blueberries and carrots) in attempt to get some energy – to no avail. I chugged the rest of my water. I began to question whether or not I was giving myself an eating disorder. Was my brain turning into mush from lack of nourishment?
Around Tacoma, I realized that I was not going to make the last 45 minutes of the drive without a) killing myself or b) killing someone else. I needed carbs or a nap ASAP. I pulled over in Fife and promptly ordered medium fries and a diet coke from McDonalds. I felt better, but still felt queasy/tired. I took a 20 minute nap in the McDonalds parking lot. (Is this rock bottom?)
I eventually made it home where I shakily ate a bowl of cereal and headed to bed around 7:30pm. Who was I kidding? I’ve never gone more than two days without candy in my entire life, and I thought I could survive on meat and vegetables for 11 days?
Today, I woke up to a sunny seattle day. I promptly purchased a breakfast sandwich and double tall Americano. Life is back to normal. I might try the detox again someday…baby steps for now. I’m going to try for 11 days without candy and see what happens. Cheers to day 3!
Note the makers magnet :)
My BFF's, Elece and Bryce are getting married!!! I'm so excited to be a part of their big day!! xoxo
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
I'm on TV!!
As promised, we made an appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno! Check it out! The segment starts around 10 minutes in, and we show up around 13:55.
Monday, May 9, 2011
American Airlines
Despite their lovable name, The Flaming Patriot is none too pleased with American Airlines. They're certainly no Delta (don't ever leave the airport), but AA's inconsitent enforcement of their baggage policy has me a little miffed.
I fly frequently, using the same carry-on each time. I used this carry-on during my most recent trip with AA. On my outbound Boeing 737 flight, my carry-on fit perfectly into the overhead bin. No struggling whatsoever. On my return Boeing 737 flight, the gate attendant informed me that my same bag looked too big and that I needed to check it in the sizer. It did not fit easily into the sizer, primarily because the sizer is smaller than the actual carry-on space.
The gate attendant informed me that I would need to check my bag. I informed her that my bag fit perfetly on the last plane. Apparently, that doesn't matter. I boarded the plane, seething. I had painstakingly organized my liquids and gels so that I woud not have to surrender my bag. The prospect of an extra 15 minutes at baggage claim late at night after 14 hours of travel was not making me happy. Time is money. And sleep.
My blood pressure rose further as I watched the rest of the passengers load their carry-ons. 50% of the people around me had bags the same size as mine, which of course, fit easily into the overhead bins. 25% of the people had smaller bags. The other 25% actually had bags that struggled to fit into the overhead bins. I watched nice older gentlemen help weak skinny chicks shove thier over-stuffed bags into the bins, ripping off luggage tags and delaying the boarding process. After we landed, I watched these same people pull with all their might to get the bags out of the overhead compartments--endangering everyone around them if thier 45lb bag came flying out with uncontrollable force into someone's temple.
I realize that there are bigger problems in the world, but that's not what this blog is about. I'll be the first to say that all of my flights were on-time. But, I'll also say, American Airlines, that one cup of water on a 3.5 hour flight is not enough to keep me hydrated. I understand your baggage policy. But, if you're going to take my bag, you'd better take everyone's. I'll remember this experience the next time I choose not to fly your airline.
I fly frequently, using the same carry-on each time. I used this carry-on during my most recent trip with AA. On my outbound Boeing 737 flight, my carry-on fit perfectly into the overhead bin. No struggling whatsoever. On my return Boeing 737 flight, the gate attendant informed me that my same bag looked too big and that I needed to check it in the sizer. It did not fit easily into the sizer, primarily because the sizer is smaller than the actual carry-on space.
The gate attendant informed me that I would need to check my bag. I informed her that my bag fit perfetly on the last plane. Apparently, that doesn't matter. I boarded the plane, seething. I had painstakingly organized my liquids and gels so that I woud not have to surrender my bag. The prospect of an extra 15 minutes at baggage claim late at night after 14 hours of travel was not making me happy. Time is money. And sleep.
My blood pressure rose further as I watched the rest of the passengers load their carry-ons. 50% of the people around me had bags the same size as mine, which of course, fit easily into the overhead bins. 25% of the people had smaller bags. The other 25% actually had bags that struggled to fit into the overhead bins. I watched nice older gentlemen help weak skinny chicks shove thier over-stuffed bags into the bins, ripping off luggage tags and delaying the boarding process. After we landed, I watched these same people pull with all their might to get the bags out of the overhead compartments--endangering everyone around them if thier 45lb bag came flying out with uncontrollable force into someone's temple.
I realize that there are bigger problems in the world, but that's not what this blog is about. I'll be the first to say that all of my flights were on-time. But, I'll also say, American Airlines, that one cup of water on a 3.5 hour flight is not enough to keep me hydrated. I understand your baggage policy. But, if you're going to take my bag, you'd better take everyone's. I'll remember this experience the next time I choose not to fly your airline.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Seattle
Safely home. Unimpressed with my American airlines experience...bit at least their flights were on schedule.
Back to work in 8.5 hours?! Fml.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Kentuckiana
All parties have safely arrived in Louisville! We're actually staying in new Albany Indiana. It was quite sad to leave nashville. We ditched the cobalt and upgraded to a fancy 7-seater caravan. Today, we launched the educational portion of our trip with a tour of the louisville slugger factory. Tomorrow we're getting up early to tour a horse farm outside and dip our own bottles of maker's mark.
We have learned that the cities of the south have very distinct smells. For example, Louisville smells a bit like the currently flooding Ohio river. The following lunchtime convo resulted in tears of laughter...
" so, which city has smelled the worst?"
" new Orleans was pretty bad. It smelled like stale beer and vomit."
" did you forget Chunky?! Chunky definitely smelled the worst.
The angels smacked me across the face
Today, I also had the worst meal of my life. White Castle is the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
The angels are singing
I just had the best meal of my life: brisket, turnip greens, candied yams, cornbread, stewed okra, banana pudding, and sweet tea. If only I was wearing a belt I would loosen it.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Meridian
Safely arrived in meridian, Mississippi for the night. The skies are relatively calm, but thunderstorms are expected tonight. I spent the day driving the Natchez trace parkway, making my passengers watch the sky the whole time. They got a little upset when i started watching the sky instead of the road:) eventually, i just let jenni drive. Tomorrow we are going to head through Tuscaloosa and Birmingham en route to Nashville. The forecast looks good, but it should be interesting. There may or may not be power and gas.
Are we in a foreign country?
"it is like they've mastered frying things down here. It doesn't taste greasy! Y'know, when you get a donut in the united states, it always tastes greasy." -heather
"those pies be movin" -Travis the waiter
"this is as close to jazzfest as Leroy is going to get" - Leroy the hertz shuttle driver
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Road trip
Phase 1 of the road trip trifecta is nearly complete. We enjoyed a lovely 86 degree day today at jazzfest. We just topped it off with some pecan pie. We'll hit the road tomorrow after a breakfast of beignets and a stop at a cemetery. It closed at 2pm yesterday...who knew?! We'll head through baton rouge and then make our way up the natchez trace parkway to Jackson, Mississippi. We'll hopefully stay the night in meridian, Mississippi. Just checked the weather forecast...no signs of Tornados yet, but there will be thunderstorms!
Bourbon Street...
was amazing! I have also had my first bloody mary (amazing). We are headed to jazz fest today.
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