Wednesday, January 19, 2011
PUTTING THE CASUAL IN BUSINESS CASUAL
During a discussion about work attire, one of my hired friends asked me my opinion on camouflage. In the workplace. Specifically, he is thinking about getting the shirt pictured below, which is on sale at Cabela’s for $14.99.
Classy. Especially if you can match the print to your Ford F-150 Supercab. I told him to buy it, mainly for my own entertainment purposes, but I believe camouflage at work is a little too casual for business casual. Just like UGGs. Ladies – you’re not fooling anyone with those UGGs under your Banana Republic slacks. Or your black Hunters with a pencil skirt. “Uhh….but it rains and it is cold.” That is no reason to walk around looking like a crazy cat lady housewife at work.*
All joking aside, spending the money on wrinkle free clothing is key to looking fly without putting any effort into it. Thanks to Oprah, I own several Brooks Brothers wrinkle free shirts. It is impossible to wrinkle them, and I’ve found good deals at the outlets. For the gentlemen, my business attire consultant recommends the Toddland “Perfect” pants, available at Urban Outfitters.
*Disclaimer: I am well aware that I will probably be a crazy cat lady housewife.
Classy. Especially if you can match the print to your Ford F-150 Supercab. I told him to buy it, mainly for my own entertainment purposes, but I believe camouflage at work is a little too casual for business casual. Just like UGGs. Ladies – you’re not fooling anyone with those UGGs under your Banana Republic slacks. Or your black Hunters with a pencil skirt. “Uhh….but it rains and it is cold.” That is no reason to walk around looking like a crazy cat lady housewife at work.*
All joking aside, spending the money on wrinkle free clothing is key to looking fly without putting any effort into it. Thanks to Oprah, I own several Brooks Brothers wrinkle free shirts. It is impossible to wrinkle them, and I’ve found good deals at the outlets. For the gentlemen, my business attire consultant recommends the Toddland “Perfect” pants, available at Urban Outfitters.
*Disclaimer: I am well aware that I will probably be a crazy cat lady housewife.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Aberdeezy
If I was going to write a scary screenplay based on a true story, it would set it in Aberdeen, WA. It would be about a young woman who travels from the big city to Aberdeen for her white collar job. The movie would play "Come as You Are" by Nirvana* on repeat. She would stay at the only marginally acceptable hotel in town, the Ghosthouse. The hotel is termed as such because it is rumored to be haunted by victims of serial killer Billy Gohl.
In the evenings after work she would either eat at Subway or the restaurant named after the infamous killer. Out of boredom, she would go to see a movie at the South Shore Mall. She would drive past the empty parking lots and boarded up fronts of Sears and JC Penny to the theatre. The movie theatre would be the only business operating out of the mall, with the exception of Dairy Queen. She would be the only person in the 50-seat theatre until halfway through the previews, when three other people arrive.
Now, the movie would be BASED on a true story, but the story actually isn’t true. So at the end, the movie theatre people would kill the heroine, and then she would haunt the hotel by singing Nirvana up and down the hallways and inexplicably turning the TVs on and off.
*Kurt Cobain was from Aberdeen.
In the evenings after work she would either eat at Subway or the restaurant named after the infamous killer. Out of boredom, she would go to see a movie at the South Shore Mall. She would drive past the empty parking lots and boarded up fronts of Sears and JC Penny to the theatre. The movie theatre would be the only business operating out of the mall, with the exception of Dairy Queen. She would be the only person in the 50-seat theatre until halfway through the previews, when three other people arrive.
Now, the movie would be BASED on a true story, but the story actually isn’t true. So at the end, the movie theatre people would kill the heroine, and then she would haunt the hotel by singing Nirvana up and down the hallways and inexplicably turning the TVs on and off.
*Kurt Cobain was from Aberdeen.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Censorship
In other news, the Flaming Patriot is very much against censorship. I'm sorry, last time I checked it was 2011. Huck Finn is still banned in schools? What? And now we're changing words in the book so that it won't be banned? If you don't like reading, Stephen Colbert's analyzes the issue too.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2013844418_twainchange05.html
In somewhat related news, the Atlas Shrugged movie will be released, fittingly, on April 15th! So excited!
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2013844418_twainchange05.html
In somewhat related news, the Atlas Shrugged movie will be released, fittingly, on April 15th! So excited!
Seahawks
I've also been rather distracted by the superb performance of my future husband's football team. In case you missed it, the Seahawks KILLED IT on Saturday. In this video, my future husband hands the ball to Marshawn Lynch, who breaks approximately 100 tackles to score a touchdown. It was more amazing than a double rainbow.
Mars
Certain fans of the Flaming Patriot have recently complained that I haven't been posting often enough lately. My apologies. I've actually been busy doing a lot of thinking. Specifically, I've been thinking a lot about colonizing Mars. Unpatriotic, you say? America is the greatest place in the world, why would you ever go live anywhere else?!
Well, for one thing, we're talking about the UNIVERSE. Not the world. I bet naysayers said the same thing to the pilgrims. And remember how everyone told Columbus that he was going to fall off the edge of the world? Wrong. Mars might be awesome. You've never been there, so you don't know.
Of course, you would probably die on Mars. But, what if the human race had the opportunity to colonize mars during our lifetimes? Just assume that it was somehow feasible for humans to survive there, but we needed people to go there and figure out how to do it. Also assume that travel between earth and mars wasn't possible, but you can have all normal communication with earth (skype, iphone, youtube, the lifetime network, tmz, etc.). Would you do it?
Fun to think about, huh? If mars is too far for you, what about the moon? Most people I have bounced this idea off off claim that the moon is more awesome than mars. Others have said that you would be better off to colonize Siberia. Siberia sounds lame. Count me in for Mars.
Well, for one thing, we're talking about the UNIVERSE. Not the world. I bet naysayers said the same thing to the pilgrims. And remember how everyone told Columbus that he was going to fall off the edge of the world? Wrong. Mars might be awesome. You've never been there, so you don't know.
Of course, you would probably die on Mars. But, what if the human race had the opportunity to colonize mars during our lifetimes? Just assume that it was somehow feasible for humans to survive there, but we needed people to go there and figure out how to do it. Also assume that travel between earth and mars wasn't possible, but you can have all normal communication with earth (skype, iphone, youtube, the lifetime network, tmz, etc.). Would you do it?
Fun to think about, huh? If mars is too far for you, what about the moon? Most people I have bounced this idea off off claim that the moon is more awesome than mars. Others have said that you would be better off to colonize Siberia. Siberia sounds lame. Count me in for Mars.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Regulators, mount up.
Approximately 1/3 of our office is in the process of tinting our cars. Here they are! Thanks to Gregg at AccutintNW in Shoreline for making our rides look fly.
Kelli (30%)
Rylee (honorary regulator) (30%)
Me (35%)
Sarah (35%)
James (30%)
Matt (30%)
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